The Living Inquiries
At the age of 13 my mother told me the end of the world would be coming soon. As a young Catholic girl, I fell to my knees in my little bedroom and prayed for help in a deep way, and the help was immediately present. I felt I had moved to a different dimension. All that was present for three weeks was another dimension of living which I can only refer to as "THAT." I defined it as "The Presence of God." In my Catholic way I suddenly wanted to become a nun and dedicate myself to "THAT." This was the beginning of my spiritual search.
However, once this presence seemed to leave, I found my life was lived seeking the approval of others. I felt I did not fit, I was unlovable, I did it wrong, and a myriad of other stories. I struggled with life. I would try to avoid these feelings by running to relationships with men, food, cigarettes, alcohol and drugs. In 1981 I put aside alcohol, drugs and cigarettes using the 12-step program of Alcohol Anonymous. I came to believe that a power greater than myself could restore me to sanity.
At this time many changes occurred in my life. I was introduced to J. Krishnamurti, A Course in Miracles, Gangaji, Byron Katie, Nisargadatta Maharaj, Sri Ramana Maharshi, Adyadshanti, Jeff Foster, Rupert Spira, Robert Wolfe, etc., and many other teachers. In 2002, a dream of going to India came true as I spent two weeks in retreat with Eckhart Tolle, the author of The Power of Now. The book begins with a brief story that impacted my life:
A beggar had been sitting by the side of the road for thirty years. One day a stranger walked by. “Spare some change?” mumbled the beggar, mechanically holding out his old baseball cap. “I have nothing to give you,” said the stranger. Then he asked: “What’s that you’re sitting on?” “Nothing,” replied the beggar, “just an old box. I’ve been sitting on it for as long as I can remember.” “Ever look inside?” asked the stranger. “No,” said the beggar. “What’s the point, there’s nothing in there.” “Have a look inside,” insisted the stranger. The beggar, reluctantly, managed to pry open the lid. With astonishment, disbelief, and elation, he saw that the box was filled with gold. —Eckhart Tolle
In 2011, I heard the name of Scott Kiloby and purchased a book entitled Love's Quiet Revolution. I related to this book as Scott, too, had suffered from many addictions for 20 years and found a way out, and he was now helping others to see their own perfection through inquiry. I immediately started taking courses on all he had to offer and also participating in many private sessions with him.
What was unique about Scott Kiloby's work is that he showed me how to inquire in my own life and find my own answers. He did not preach, but rather showed me how to go inside and be with uncomfortable emotions instead of running away. I learned the true meaning of Jesus' words, "The Kingdom of Heaven is Within." Or, in the words of others:
Your task is not to seek for love, but merely to seek and find all the barriers within yourself that you have built against it. — Rumi
Nothing real can be threatened. Nothing unreal exists. Herein
lives the peace of God.
— A Course in Miracles
What a blessing to have realized that the flowering of human consciousness happens only in my absence. — Scott Kiloby
After studying and training with Scott for more than a year, I became a Certified Facilitator of The Living Inquiries in September 2012.